Naru Punches Stuff in the Face
by Gundam Kaiser
Summary: An ongoing anthology of Naru Narusegawa punching stuff in the face.
1. Chapter 1

**To begin with, I like Naru. Aside from Motoko, she's probably my preferred female character of Love Hina.**

**However, I also like seeing fictional characters get punched in the face, moreso if I don't particularly care for that character.**

**From these two passions, was born an ongoing series of Naru Punching People In The Face.**

**Some of these are written by myself, and other snippets are written by fellow members of Ala Aridia. Items without an author appended to them, were written by myself.**

* * *

**Kurt Godel**

Naru was walking down the street as happily as ever.

Then, as some vaguely bishonen guy in spectacles came walking by, Godzilla attacked and blasted a nearby car with his radiation breath.

The percussive shockwave from the explosion knocked the bishonen guy over, and he instinctively reached out for the nearest possible thing to grab hold of and steady himself with.

Which happened to be Naru's chest.

Then Naru punched Godel on the face.

* * *

**Kurt Godel,** _as writ by Over Master_

Chisame was showing the friends of Princess Kaolla, who was rich and influential and thus important for Negi's plans, around the place. "Um. Okay. Yeah, that was interesting. And this is the development area, where our best scientists work hard, day and night, to make the Space Elevator and Blue Mars a reality. Now you'll meet Hakase Satomi, who—"

As she ushered them in, they saw a man's form leaning over that of a petite girl with dark hair. And they all froze. Those two caught in the act looked back, uneasily.

Chisame would have thought Setsuna's sempai would have reached him first, with her being a trained expert fighter and all that, but she only scored a close-but-no-cigar second in the race for the adult man and the still underage girl.

And then Naru punched Godel in the face.

* * *

**Gilderoy Lockhart**

As a quote-unquote "responsible adult", she had taken it upon herself to tour this "magic boarding school" that her shy and vulnerable young friend had been mysteriously signed up for.

The majestic architecture was certainly impressive, and the bulk of the faculty certainly seemed eccentric, but evidently competent enough in their fields - Not that I'd really have the context to know otherwise, she admitted to herself. The divisive nature of student body worried her somewhat, but since 3/4 of them seemed to be friendly and welcoming, the young woman chose to relax somewhat.

Just as the redhead was thinking that it might not be so bad after all, to send Shinobu to a place like this for several months at a time, a self-important looking pretty boy came on the scene and started trying to flirt with her. He certainly thought he was impressive and clever, but honestly she was just beginning to get a little pissed.

At that time, the staircase they were standing on abruptly began a 90 degree rotation, causing both individuals to stumble, the annoying fop somehow managing to fall just so that his face wound up in her cleavage.

And then Naru punched Gilderoy Lockhart in the face.

* * *

**Cain Marko,** _writ by Over Master_

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

That was very rude, so then Naru punched the Juggernaut in the face.

And shattered her hand into bone dust and splintered, bleeding flesh. Oops.

* * *

**Read It And Find Out,** _writ by Darkenning_

"... you need to grow a pair already! Any of these girls would be better for you than that castrating bitch! Pick one and get her out of your life, then you can finally become the Shounen Harem protagonist that you were always born to be! But hurry up and dump -"

Keitaro, who'd sadly grown accustomed to getting lectured like this by self-inserting fanfic authors who weren't quite self-assured enough to simply murder him and run around in his skin - which always gave him an itch afterwards, so he welcomed the change - had also grown accustomed to hiding the amusement he always felt when his wife, the only woman he'd ever truly loved, walked up behind the lecturer and tapped him on the shoulder, blessedly shutting him up for a few moments.

It happened just like that this time, too.

Then Naru punched Archivist 10 in the face.

* * *

**Pre-Emptive Strike,** _writ by Darkenning_

"You are beyond doubt the most perverted person I've ever met," she bit out. Then Naru punched Kageyama Yamiko in the face.

"... please sir may I have another?" Yamiko giggled a half hour later when she woke up under a tree.

* * *

**Mirror Match,** _writ by Over Master_

They finally had enough of each other.

Then Naru punched Hasegawa Chisame in the face.

Just as Hasegawa Chisame punched Naru in the face.

Double KO!

* * *

**Konoe Touta,** _writ by Over Master_

Then Naru punched Touta in the face.

Then Chisame punched Touta in the face.

Then Motoko punched Touta in the face.

Then Asuna punched Touta in the face.

Then Sarah punched Touta in the face.

Then Nodoka punched Touta in the face.

Then Kaolla punched Touta in the face.

Then Yuuna punched Touta in the face.

Then Tenri punched Touta in the face.

"Hey, wait a second!" Touta called out. "If YOUR series isn't being published anymore, it's not because of MINE!"

"Don't care! I need venting out!"

Then Tenri punched Touta in the face.

Naru sneered. "Foreigners..."

* * *

**DCNU 52 Joker.,** _writ by Over Master_

Then Naru punched-

Actually, she stopped when her fist was in the middle of its way.

She took a better look at the maggot-filled, half rotten white layer of discarded face skin the clown had attached to his badly cut features, and cringed. "Ew!"

Then Naru kicked the Joker in the balls.

* * *

**Untitled,** _writ by NGT-7_

"But that means he is Yuuno, if the plot warped to accommodate a romance comedy!" Vita protested. "They would subordinate all the distinctive personalities and cool powers to a bland, uninspiring doormat!"

And then Naru punched Vita in the face.

That did not go so well.

* * *

**Grim,** _writ by Over Master_

The old woman huffed stubbornly.

"I'm telling you, I'm not going yet!"

"But-"

Then Naru rose from her hospital bed, and punched the Grim Reaper in the face.

For a moment afer he plucked himself out of the wall, he stood there, with a bony hand on the impacted area, before turning around and heading for the room's door. "You'd better get ready for tomorrow..."

"Yes, yes, same thing you've been saying all week long..."

* * *

**Pinkie Pie,** _writ by Over Master_

"The secret ingredient is..." she whispered conspiratively, coming closer as Naru leaned in with curiosity, still munching on her cupcake, "KEITARO!"

Naru took a distressed stare at the cupcake, then punched the pony in the face.

* * *

**Untitled,** _writ by Shadow Crystal Mage_

Naru punched Kamijou Touma in the face.

As she was neither magical or an esper, this finally killed him.

* * *

**Haruhi Suzumiya**

Naru was absently walking down the street next to some school building or another, holding hands with her boyfriend Keitaro, when all of a sudden her perv-detecting sixth sense triggered. Since the direction of the disturbance was coming a greater distance than right next to her, she dismissed Keitaro as a possible source.

Locking on to the signal like an anti-perv rocket, the redhead charged through the entrance of the school, effortlessly raced up an unnoticed number of stairs, and came to a halt in front of a particular door, in front of which was some kid that looked really annoyed. As if able to detect the purpose of her mission, Kyon wordlessly got out of the woman's way and unlocked the door.

Naru then burst into the room, and on seeing a brunette girl inappropriately groping and stripping another, bustier girl against her will, came to an immediate decision.

And then Naru punched God in the face, before then dishing out a heated lecture about respecting one's personal privacy.

* * *

**Captain Falcon**

Naru bowed respectfully to the hooded racer as they met atop Hyrule Castle, as Captain Falcon said, "Your training is almost complete, Narusegawa. It's time for your graduation test."

He then roared, "SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!"

With a battle cry, Naru and Captain Falcon charged, and punched each other in the face with all their might.

"FALCOOON PAWNCH!"

"YOU ANIMAL!"

* * *

**Untitled,** _writ by Archivist 10_

It was honestly the worst possible outcome, though Keitaro.

They'd met up with superheroes, psychopaths and perverts of all shapes and sizes. He'd nearly died several times.

But that one world, where that ridiculously muscular guy lived.

Naru just had to pick up his signature move.

All this went across Keitaro's head as his wife turned to glare at him, right after he had walked in on her changing.

They were married now! Why did she still want to hit him?!

This is what he wanted to say, but what he said was, in barely a whimper. "Mercy."

She reared her fist back. "Naru style..."

'I'm going to die.'

"50 fold..." almost snarled Naru. Her anger was mostly instinct by this point.

He hoped Naru would live a long life once he'd died. It'd be nice to have some time on his own.

"Nail Punch!"

* * *

**Gendo Ikari**

At last, the scenario had come almost entirely to fruition. Third Impact was upon them all, and the NERV Commander was just moments away from absolute triumph and eternal reunion with his wife.

As he pushed his ADAM-containing hand into Rei's chest and rummaged around for her S2 Organ in order to achieve proper Instrumentality, there was a flash of light.

Gendo had but a moment to observe the fearsome redhead charging at him as she roared, "YOU FILTHY DEGENERATE ANIMAL!"

And then Naru punched Gendo in the face harder than she had ever punched anyone before.

* * *

**Naru: Repercusions of Punch,** _writ by Over Master_

And then Keitaro punched Naru in the face.

And then Keitaro was a Naru.

* * *

**The Punched Barnacle,** _writ by Over Master_

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that then Naru punched him in the face. And everyone died. The end.

* * *

**Izaya Orihara,** _writ by rikalous_

Izaya was just confirming that he'd shaken Shizuo when his last leap sent him crashing headfirst into a teenager's breasts. He didn't recognize her, but since he knew all the teenagers living in Ikebukuro who could take him in a fight, he didn't expect that to be a problem.

Then Naru punched him in the face. (She was just visiting.)

The gossip mill buzzed for days afterwards. Who would have thought that Shizuo Heiwajima, the strongest man in Ikebukuro (and, some claimed, the world), liked to crossdress?


	2. Chapter 2

Some of these are written by myself, and other snippets are written by fellow members of Ala Aridia. Items without an author appended to them, were written by myself.

* * *

**Yuuki Rito**, _writ by IAmNotCreativeEnough_

Yuuki Rito, using his mad ninja falling skills, tripped and landed, facefirst, on Naru Narusegawa's crotch, somehow getting the waistband of her underwear caught in his teeth.

Said girl blushed for a second, as rage overcame her.

And then Naru punched Rito in the face.

He landed facefirst in Motoko's cleavage, his hands landing on either side of his face. That is, on her breasts.

A low growl chilled Rito's spine.

And then Naru punched Rito in the face.

He landed on top of Shinobu, and an attempt at scrambling off of her lead to them falling on the ground together, her face only a hair's width away from his own crotch, while his was planted firmly in Shinobu's own, nose buried in her unmentionables.

There was an inarticulate scream of rage, and then Naru punched Rito in the face.

* * *

**Ryu** _writ by IAmNotCreativeEnough_

"No, no, no, it's like this, watch my right foot; you have to mind your step very carefully so you can get the most power out of the spin at once," demonstrated the martial arts master, performing the move as slowly as he could.

Then he nodded and looked at his apprentice, who nodded at him.

And then Naru Rising Dragon Punch'ed Ryu in the face, much to his approval.

* * *

**Punches and Kicks** _writ by Night_

"Kick reason to the curb!"

"...pants are reasonable."

"KICK PANTS TO THE CURB!"

And then Naru punched Simon the Digger in the face. Or tried to. He thought it was a brofist and punched back, and their fists met to begin a brief but torrid romance fueled entirely by their inability to understand each other.

* * *

**Facepunch Time!** _writ by CalmAndInsane_

"Alright this shouldn't be hard, I'll just hop through the portal, grab a princess or two, and be back home before anyone can stop me," The Ice King mused aloud, "Gunter, watch the place while I'm gone!"

"Wenk," came the penguin's reply.

The Ice King stepped through the portal and found himself in a hot-spring. He peered through the thick steam and noticed a distinctly feminine silhouette.

"Oh, that one looks like a princess," The Ice King mumbled to himself.

"Huh? Who's there!" the woman demanded.

"Oh, just your new boyfriend sweety nothing to be worried about," the Ice King walked over to the woman and through the steam saw a gorgeous orange haired babe staring back, covered with nothing but a towel.

There was a piercing shriek that was heard all the way back in Ooo by Gunter.

And then Naru punched The Ice King in the face.

* * *

**What a Tweest!** _writ by CalmAndInsane_

Naru was on a wonderful honeymoon with Keitaro in Koala Su's homeland when there was a sudden shifting that threw them off of the bed. Naru grumpily got up and looked outside. There were many small black demons floating around shooting beams of some kind at people. They seemed to be originating from a floating palace. With an agitated groan Naru threw on a bathrobe and strode out to confront the source of these troubles.

All fighting in the Gravekeeper's palace stopped immediately when the angry woman in a bathrobe showed up.

"Who's in charge here?" growled Naru.

"Um... That would be me," A man in a vastly over sized flowing coat said.

And then Naru punched the Lifemaker in the face.

* * *

**How decident** _writ by CalmAndInsane_

Narusigawa walked in on the decadent habit version of herself having sex with her younger sister.

And then Naru punched Naru in the face.

* * *

**There Can Be Only One!** _writ by Night_

"Which one of you is Saati?" Naru demanded.

"I'm Program Thirty?" Saati replied. "But I think you're looking for Cindy."

"Her turn will come!" Naru's insistence was very strong.

But in the meantime she punched Saati in the face. Then she punched Cindy in the face.

Negima managed to convince her there were no Naru clones around, saving themselves from punches in the face.

* * *

**The First Avenger** _writ by ShadowCrystalMage_

Naru sighed as she raised the motorcycle with the two girls sitting on it over her head. Who would have thought that medical experiment would have lead to this.

She gave her advertising speech, telling people to buy war bonds and such, and ignore the two kids in the audience pointing frantically behind her, waiting for the musical cue.

At last it came and Naru turned around and punched Hitler in the face.

* * *

**Naru-Oh!**_ writ by OverMaster_

After the initial shock, the two mismatched naked figures in the bath pulled their respective decks out of... you don't want to know, and most importantly, I don't want to say.

"Aaaatention, Duelists!" Mitsune yelled, coming out from behind a rock. "My ahoge is telling me it's time... for a Duel!"

"I play the Accidental Pervert bath encounter card!" Keitaro cried. "This will reduce your Modesty Points in a 75%!"

"Damn it!" Naru shouted. "But I have enough points left to play a special card! My Tsundere Punch will drain all your Vitality points!"

"Oh, no!"

And then Naru played her card, and it caused Critical Damage, reducing Keitaro's Vitality to zero.

"..." Keitaro said.

"..." Naru said.

"..." Mitsune said.

Keitaro's head drooped down. "It isn't the same anymore, is it?"

Naru's head drooped down as well. "No, no it isn't."

* * *

**My Naru-HiME.** _writ by OverMaster_

And then Naru punched Akane in the face. Kazuya disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Akira in the face. Takumi disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Midori in the face. Midori's teacher disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Alyssa in the face. Alyssa's father disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Yukariko in the face. Ishigami-sensei disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Shiho in the face. Tate disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Yukino in the face. Haruka disappeared into green sparkles

And then Naru punched Nao in the face. Nao's mother disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Natsuki AND Shizuru in the face, AT ONCE. They disappeared into green sparkles.

And then Naru punched Mai in the face. Mikoto disappeared into green sparkles. "Huh..." Naru said, "So that's who she loved, after all. I guess I owe Kitsune ten thousand yen then."

As Mikoto disappeared, so did the Obsidian Prince, and Nagi was understandly exasperated. "You know, you could have at least used your Element and CHILD at least once! We spent so long setting all of this up, and now you-!"

And then Naru punched Nagi in the face. And there was much rejoicing.

* * *

**Too Much.**_ writ by OverMaster_

And then Naru punched Belldandy in the face.

"I mean, come on!" she tried to defend herself later. "She's TOO perfect! It's downright unsettling! Creepy, even! Doesn't ANYONE else feel the same way?!"

The author of this piece whistled and looked away innocently.

* * *

**Badass. **_writ by OverMaster_

The giant waves ravaging the Tokyo Area came closer, with deafening rumblings that shook the landscape before it was swallowed by the sea. Not even Ala Alba had been able to stop it. Everything was lost.

The old woman climbed on the rooftop of the inn, drew the deepest breath of her life, focused herself by slamming her fists together, and waited for the tsunami to come closer.

And then Naru punched the Pacific Ocean in the face.

And that was why not all of the Tokyo area was sunk.

* * *

**Puncher**_ writ by AonSao_

She was in an empty hallway at the 71st Inter High Tournament.

She was oblivious to the world, focused on practicing her great-grandmother's famous move.

She was startled when the pair came up behind her and coughed for her attention.

And then Naru the Younger punched Etopen in the face.

* * *

**Untitled**, _writ by Night_

"Wait, he likes little girls?" Naru asked in horror.

"Oh yeah, and there's Haman Khan, and Lalah Sune, and-"

And then Naru warped time and space to punch Char's Zaku in the face, create the Axis Shock, and destroy the Zeong all at once.

* * *

**The Wing Follies** writ by Night

"I'll kill you."

And then Naru punched Heero Yuy in the face.

* * *

Naru angrily threw the gun Heero Yuy offered her for killing her great aunt's cousin's roommate in his face and scolded him for taking the coward's way out.

* * *

"Surrender or I will destroy the colonies!"

Naru got her headset off before Noin did, and punched Lady Une in the face.

Heero self-destructed anyways. He figured it would hurt less.

* * *

"Outer space has gone crazy! So I'm going to destroy it all!" Quatre insisted.

And then Naru punched Quatre in the face. Right through his helmet.

* * *

Zechs Merquise attempted to hijack everyone's TV to announce his intention to destroy Earth, only to instead be shown being punched in the face by some redhead.

* * *

"Libra will fall to Earth! It's the only way we'll stop Naru punching people in the face!" Zechs declared.

And then Noin's Taurus punched Epyon in the face.

* * *

Freefall. The air was burning around her. Here it came, heavier, burning in, threatening the planet, and more importantly, the man she loved.

And then Naru punched Libra out of existence.

* * *

**The King of Terror**

The once-thriving city had long since been razed to the ground, as streams of lightning fell from the heavens and destroyed all that they touched.

Over this scene of carnage, the sky rang with a high-pitched cackle. Or rather, three voices each were cackling, out of synch with each other and at different rates.

All over the surrounding area, were bodies. But not of men, or of women, but of giants. Of gods.

Anguirus. Mothra. Baragon. Rodan. King Ceasar. Jet Jaguar.

All had attempted to protect Earth from the invader, and all had perished in the attempt.

The JSDF had even resorted to the unthinkable, unleashing Godzilla himself from his volcanic prison.

It was all futile. Even the mighty King of the Monsters could not hope to match the King of Terror alone. And so he, too, was defeated.

A beautiful woman with red hair observed the devastation before her, and as she removed her sunglasses, tender tears began to stream from her eyes.

She leapt into the air, and with one punch caved in the first of King Ghidorah's three skulls.

The other two weren't kept waiting.

* * *

**You Filthy Animal!**

With that scream of moral outrage, Naru climbed up on the stage and then violently dragged the hapless Muppet towards the hot spring.

"You're not drumming again until after you take a damn bath!"

* * *

**Naru Narusegawa's Bizarre Slugfest**

The blonde vampire gloated, "You thought the one to revive this project would have been JoJo, but you were _WRONG_! **IT WAS I, DIO!**"

Naru wasn't particularly impressed. "Yeah, yeah, we get it, wise guy."

The red-headed tsundere moved to punch DIO in the face, but found herself pounding only at thin air. "What the-?"

From behind her, she heard the smug bastard applauding her effort. "The memetic power of repeatedly punching others in the face is a formidable ability indeed, Narusegawa."

It was with a sadistic grin that he continued, "Formidable, but ultimately useless before the might of **THE WORLD!**"

With that shout, a wave of energy spread out in all directions, halting time and everything in it save DIO himself. DIO then began to make his leisurely way toward our heroine so he could feast on her blood... only to fly backwards with a dislocated jaw, the resounding shout of "OOOORAAAA!" ringing in his ears.

Setting his mouth back in place, DIO mused, "Impossible... only Jotaro Kujo should be able to move within my world of frozen time... and yet..."

Naru, her arms folded in front of her chest, cut quite the imposing figure. An intimidation tactic only enhanced by the Stand hovering behind her in the same position, Star Platinum.

As DIO glanced at the fourth wall, his eyes suddenly narrowed in comprehension. "I see. So first you punched my loyal follower, Enrico Pucci, in the face in order to get the Stand Disc containing Star Platinum. Then, you used the disc on yourself. Being infamous for that right hook of yours, you were actually able to utilize so powerful a Stand for yourself. But even so, your attempts at enabling the plot of this insipid anthology are USELESS! USELESS, USELESS, USELESS!"

Invoking The World, DIO sent forth his phantom to punch out Naru's.

MUDAMUDAMUDAAAAA!

Star Platinum effortlessly countered The World's barrage with one of its own.

ORAORAORAORAAAAA!

Naru then got right up in DIO's face, and punched it. "The will of the author is to see you get punched in the face, DIO. And knowing how much of an ass you are, as well as how you stole Erina's first kiss back in Phantom Blood, I'm more than happy to oblige!"

And then Naru punched DIO in the face several hundred times in the space of just a few seconds.

Halfway across the world, the comatose Jotaro Kujo smiled, and gave a thumbs-up.

* * *

**Like (Filthy, Degenerate) Animals** _writ by Night_

Maroon 5's latest video was interrupted at several points by the appearance of an unknown redhead, who punched out Adam Levine at several points for stalking a girl, rubbing himself in cow's blood, photographing the girl while she slept, and being a "Animal!" The original cut of the video including each punching out is more popular on YouTube than the fixed one.

Levine was miraculously otherwise unharmed despite being knocked out at least a dozen times while filming.

* * *

**Punching is the Pulse of the Stars**

Naru innocently asked, "I'm looking for a... Kamille Bidan. Is she around, by any chance?"

The blue-haired young man she was talking to got real pissed, real fast, and decked Naru in the face. "Kamille's a man's name, and I'm a man!"

Her own temper rising, Naru demanded, ""What the hell is wrong with you, hitting people out of nowhere?!" Naru then punched Kamille in the face, so hard that he went flying across the street and crashed into the women's side of a public bath.

Soaked to the bone and surrounded with screaming females, Kamille got up and raged even harder. "THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU ADULTS AND YOUR STUPID LIES!"

The Gundam pilot attempted to charge at Naru and punch her in the face again, but slipped on a puddle and ended up punching her in the breast instead. Which turned out to be a bit more painful anyway.

Naru's vision instantly went red. "GET OFF ME, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!"

For the next few minutes or so, the two just kept punching each other in blind rage, until an authoritative voice interrupted them. "Kamille, stop this foolishness now!"

And Quattro Bajeena backhanded them both.

After taking a moment to calm down, it suddenly occurred to Naru that she'd heard that voice before. "Wait, I think I know you..."

Quattro, on realizing who the woman was, began to sweat. Coughing into his fist, he attempted to dissuade her of that notion.

"Yeah, now I remember! You're that pedophile I punched out at the end of the One Year War!"

And then Naru and Kamille both punched Char in the face.

* * *

**If you can spare the time to review, we'd greatly appreciate it.**


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